Miami soars! Iowa scores!! Plus, freshman phenoms, Dabo's downfall and lots more in a wild Week 1
College football is back! And as much as things have changed, there's just as much that's stayed the same.
Published 4 ماہ قبل on ستمبر 3 2024، 5:00 شام
By Web Desk
Welcome to the season of change.
It's 2024, and if we're to believe the punditry, this will be unlike anything we've seen before in college football, which is saying something in a sport that had an interim coach drive an ATV out of a locker room just nine months ago. But it's true that 2024 will feel an awful lot different than years past. It's a season without Nick Saban or Jim Harbaugh, with a 12-team playoff and $20 million rosters. Texas and Oklahoma are in the SEC, the Pac-12 is divested throughout four different leagues, each half of football now comes with a two-minute timeout, and for some reason chicken nuggets are now called "saucy nuggs."
It's all so strange and new and exhilarating and frightening, like putting USC's defense on the field nursing a six-point lead.
And yet, for all that has changed, Week 1 also reminded us of what's remained the same, what's stood strong against the headwinds of private equity and super leagues and an endless parade of players entering the transfer portal.
There was Georgia, the preeminent program in college football for the past three years by any metric, showcasing its dominance once more. Carson Beck was nearly flawless, the Dawgs' defense was impenetrable and guys who sound like they are junior partners at a prominent Atlanta law firm -- Cash Jones, London Humphreys, Lawson Luckie -- all chipped in as Kirby Smart's crew embarrassed Clemson 34-3.
On the opposite sideline was Dabo Swinney, still fighting the good fight against things like the transfer portal or the steam engine, left to again consider whether his deep-rooted belief in doing things the Clemson way can still allow his program to keep pace with schools like Georgia. It wasn't just that the Tigers struggled. Lots of teams do that against the Bulldogs. It's that Cade Klubnik missed open receivers, Adam Randall and Cole Turner made egregious mistakes, the O-line couldn't open holes for Phil Mafah, and the defense ultimately collapsed under the pressure to be perfect. In other words, it looked so much like Clemson's 2021, 2022 and 2023 seasons. Swinney has stopped taking calls at his weekly radio show, but we can only imagine Tyler from Spartanburg is busy crafting a strongly worded email expressing his discontent.
The game wasn't so much a reminder of Georgia's brilliance as it was a referendum that Clemson simply isn't in this class any longer.
Texas A&M still hopes to join the elites, but that climb is just beginning. Saturday was a reminder that, even with a new head coach and a healthy quarterback, the Aggies are a lot closer to the stumbling blocks of the Jimbo Fisher era than they are to Mike Elko's finish line. Riley Leonard and Notre Dame couldn't muster much offense against A&M, but they were consistently the more physical team, the team capable of making the big play when it had to be made -- from two critical interceptions of Conner Weigman to a game-clinching swat of a fourth-down pass in the final minutes.
Colorado may be a long way from the elite tier of college football, too, but that didn't stop the world from tuning in to see the Buffaloes on Thursday night. Quarterback Shedeur Sanders was excellent, receiver/defensive back Travis Hunter was otherworldly, and Coach Prime may have let all the air of out of the tires of several cars parked in the media lot outside Folsom Field. Regardless, Colorado still looks much like it did a year ago: an incredibly entertaining team with a handful of superstars and enough holes that almost any outcome seems possible.
At Texas, the Longhorns sizzled in a 52-0 drubbing of Colorado State, but because some things never change, the real story was the backup quarterback. Arch Manning engineered a touchdown drive in his first action of the season, completing 5 of 6 passes and accounting for two touchdowns. Sure, none of that will mean much when the Longhorns head to Michigan next week, forced to rely on the starter. (What's his name again? We want to say Quentin? We're drawing a blank.) But Week 1 felt like a continuation of the always enjoyable "will they or won't they" love affair between Texas and Manning. They really are the Jim and Pam of the SEC.
Who's a more stable force in college football than Miami tight end Cam McCormick? He's been playing for so long he can remember the last time Miami was relevant. On Saturday, he caught a touchdown pass as the Canes dismantled Florida in "embarrassing" fashion, according to Billy Napier.
And what about Michigan? The defending champs went to battle without Harbaugh or J.J. McCarthy or a host of other players who won their rings before leaving for the NFL, but the Wolverines won anyway, using their trademarked brute force to upend Fresno State 30-10. Sure, Michigan found its replacement for McCarthy when Sherrone Moore put on a jacket he hadn't worn in three years and found $20 and Davis Warren in the pocket, but isn't this exactly the formula we'd expect from the Wolverines? Same as it ever was.
Of course, not all change is bad -- no matter what Swinney says.
Look at Alabama, for example. The Tide dominated Western Kentucky 63-0, with quarterback Jalen Milroe accounting for five touchdowns and Keon Sabb picking off two passes in the Tide's first game of the post-Saban era. Imagine what this program might've accomplished these past few years if only Saban hadn't been holding it back.
Or consider Ole Miss, where Lane Kiffin has embraced the transfer portal as much as anyone and, after Saturday's 76-0 win over Furman, seems to have embraced a buffet of rat poison, too. Good luck convincing an offense that hung 52 in the first half that it's not elite.
And if any team is a harbinger of this new era of college football, it's Ohio State -- a program that spent the gross domestic product of a small island nation to secure a championship roster. If Week 1 proved anything, it's that paying your players more than Akron's entire football budget is an effective plan to beat Akron. Michigan may be another story, but that's a question for November.
Even Iowa, the most stalwart of all programs, showed us something new in Week 1.
For a half, it was the old Iowa -- slow, plodding, punt-forward. And in the next half, it scored in droves (which, in Iowa parlance, means more than once).
Perhaps that's the lesson here -- for Week 1, for 2024, for college football. Change is not good or bad, but it is inevitable.
Clemson will eventually take a meaningful player from the portal, even if it means replacing Swinney with a lookalike in some sort of a "Manchurian Candidate" type of situation.
Georgia will eventually be surpassed by another program, though probably not anytime soon.
Texas A&M will eventually win a big game. Probably. Maybe.
The fun of settling in for a new season, however, comes from just the right mix of seeing so many old friends creating the same magic they always have and still being surprised by another year of chaos and ridiculousness that inevitably surfaces over the course of three months in the fall.
The Fed is widely expected to lower interest rates at its September meeting, and for Florida coach Billy Napier, the decision comes not a moment too soon, as he was left with little left to do by the fourth quarter of Saturday's 41-17 blowout loss to Miami than scroll through Zillow in search of his next place to live.
It's not as if optimism was rampant in Gainesville before Week 1. The schedule is brutal, and coming off back-to-back sub-.500 campaigns, simply getting to a bowl felt like success. After watching Cam Ward chuck the ball all over the field, however, even those mediocre aspirations feel so out of reach that fans were left sipping on warm High Noon and staring into the vast middle distance.
Technically, Florida played Tom Petty to open the fourth quarter, but most fans were thoughtlessly humming "Hello darkness, my old friend."
Ward was electric for Miami, throwing for 385 yards and three touchdowns, while Damien Martinez, Tyler Baron and a host of other portal additions carried the Canes to an easy win.
At Miami, there is real hope the Hurricanes can make the playoff, and all it took was enough NIL to bankrupt LifeWallet and possibly some sort of "Eternam Sunshine" treatment to erase memories of the past 20 years.
For Florida, however, the stark reality of another lost season feels like a near certainty at this point. The highlight for the Gators may have been when freshman QB DJ Lagway entered the game in the fourth quarter, a flicker of hope for a distant future. But even Lagway's day ended with an interception, making it clear there were no saviors in Gainesville in Week 1.
What comes next?
Perhaps the reality is that Miami is just really good -- so good that the Gators' remaining slate won't be nearly so challenging as Week 1 proved to be. Or, more likely, Napier should be hoping for some nice hors d'oeuvres at the next showings for that four bedroom/three bath Dutch Colonial.
In 2023, Penn State's offense was often frustratingly conservative and occasionally prescribed by local doctors as a substitute for Ambien, so this offseason, James Franklin brought in new coordinator Andy Kotelnicki with the expressed job of adding some explosiveness.
Through one week, mission accomplished.
Penn State torched West Virginia 34-12 behind a stellar game by quarterback Drew Allar, who threw for 216 yards and three touchdowns -- two of which came on deep balls, something notably absent from last season's repertoire.
Harrison Wallace was the primary recipient of the new approach, catching five balls for 117 yards and two scores -- just the second Penn State receiver with 100 yards and two scores in the same game since the 2021 campaign.
But fear not, Western Pennsylvania insomniacs. Penn State may not lull you into a slumber anymore, but Steelers season starts soon.
Five-star recruit Dylan Raiola made his debut for Nebraska, completing 19 of 28 passes for 238 yards and two touchdowns in a 40-7 win over UTEP, making him the first Cornhuskers quarterback since 2017 to go an entire game without slipping on a banana peel, splitting his pants and falling face first into a bowl of soup.
It's a sterling debut for Raiola, the No. 11 overall recruit according to ESPN in this year's class, who connected with Isaiah Neyor six times for 121 yards and a touchdown in the game, and it's reason for optimism the Huskers may finally have a true offensive foundation after nearly a decade lost in the wilderness.
The win marked Nebraska's first victorious opener since 2019, and it offers significant hope to the fan base that by simply reburying the bones Bo Pelini dug up from that sacred ancient burial ground, the curse may be lifted.
Still, this was only UTEP, and Nebraska led by 23 at the half, so it wasn't a true test. Only when the Huskers face a more formidable opponent and are within a score in the fourth quarter will we know if things really are different.
Each week in college football, there are subtle shifts in the power structure of the sport that aren't always obvious from the final scores. These are less about wins and losses and more about vibes. But fear not. We're here to capture the finer points to shine a spotlight on the burgeoning trends around the game.
Trending up: Nepotism rules
For 30 minutes, it looked like business as usual for Iowa, which managed just six points by halftime against FCS Illinois State. Those six points came on drives of 6 yards and 49 yards. The Hawkeyes punted four times. Somewhere, Brian Ferentz was toasting Melissa Rivers, Bronny James and Jaden Smith with a nice glass of Frank Perignon.
But the new-look Hawkeyes finally got the offense figured out in the second half, and suddenly the fine folks in Iowa learned what a forward pass looked like.
The end result: Iowa 40, Illinois State 0. Cade McNamara became the first Iowa quarterback to throw for 250 yards, three touchdowns and no picks in a game since 2021 (and just the third of the playoff era), and the punter didn't even need an ice bath after the game.
Trending down: QR codes
Oklahoma State planned to have QR codes on players' helmets to help promote NIL opportunities, but the NCAA, sensing a rare opportunity to feed its eternal quest to keep money from athletes, stepped in at the last minute to quash the plan.
While it's true, the NCAA's decisions are often based on a deep-rooted desire to ruin Christmas from its lair atop a mountain overlooking Whoville, we actually applaud this move as a long overdue blow against the scourge of QR codes.
Now, if only the NCAA could also force restaurants to go back to handing every customer a hard copy of the menu, there'd be some real progress on the issue.
Unfortunately, Alan Bowman (three touchdown passes), Ollie Gordon (146 total yards, three touchdowns) and Trey Rucker (15 tackles) missed out on some potential earnings after starring in a 44-20 win over South Dakota State. On the upside, Eskimo Joe's game-day menu is quite reasonably priced.
Trending up: Celebrating with Beers
It's Week 1, and it wouldn't be the same without Beers. Indeed, there's nothing like finding one open, then celebrating with the boys. It's cool, refreshing, delightful.
Yes, Florida International tight end Rocky Beers scored on a 7-yard pass from Keyone Jenkins just before the half against Indiana, leading to a nice end zone gathering with his teammates.
Why, what did you think we were talking about?
Trending up: Teammate chivalry
Kudos to Utah quarterback Cam Rising, who came to the rescue with a proper bunny ears double knot when receiver Dorian Singer's shoe came untied midgame.
It was just part of a spectacular day for Rising, who in addition to teaching his teammate how to tie his shoes also threw five touchdown passes on just 15 attempts and traded half his PB&J sandwich from his lunch box for a string cheese and a vanilla pudding. Word is, Rising is also an early favorite to take home the class guinea pig next weekend.
Trending down: Mascot chivalry
Mr. and Mrs. Wuf took a ride in the Wuf-mobile before NC State kicked off against Western Carolina on Thursday, but the lady of the den couldn't quite manage the dismount.
While Mrs. Wuf landed flat on her face -- or snout? -- Mr. Wuf offered no assistance. It's sad when all the romance goes out of a marriage. We'd wager Mr. Wuf doesn't even close the bathroom door anymore.
Fortunately for the Wolfpack, the pregame face-plant didn't keep the team from eeking out a too-close-for-comfort 38-21 win thanks in large part to a brilliant performance from KC Concepcion, who finished with nine catches for 131 yards and three touchdowns.
Trending up: Power tools
Northern Arizona felled trees and Lincoln (California) on Saturday, winning its opener with ease and using a chainsaw in the end zone to slice off a nice piece of wood.
This is an exceptional use of sideline power tools. Unlike the construction site in Vanderbilt's end zone, there were actual hard hats and safety goggles involved here. And we can't help but wonder if Oregon State had just gone the extra mile with its turnover chainsaw, the Pac-12 might've survived.
Trending up: Lakeside Airbnbs
Sure, it wasn't exactly an emphatic win for Northwestern in Week 1, with the Wildcats narrowly escaping Miami (Ohio), 13-6. But if the offense was nothing to look at, the views around Northwestern's makeshift stadium were spectacular.
Saturday's win was Northwestern's 14th of the playoff era when scoring 21 points or less. Only Iowa has more among Power 5 teams. The only problem is head coach David Braun is responsible for washing all linens, taking out the trash and recycling, and emptying the fridge before checkout time, which is 8 a.m. sharp.
Trending down: Sign stealing
Connor Stalions coached his first game as the defensive coordinator at Detroit's Mumford High this week, and the defense could've used some better advanced scouting.
Stalions' squad lost 47-6, an embarrassment for the former Michigan staffer accused of sign stealing. On the upside, he already had the perfect disguise so no one would notice him in the parking lot after the game.
Meanwhile, Oklahoma State coach Mike Gundy suggested he might have a job waiting in his IT department should Stalions be in the market.
It's a tempting offer. After all, a fake mullet would go really nicely with the fake goatee.
Usually you need to go to Nebraska to find a good volleyball match inside a football stadium, but Pitt and Kent State gave us a taste in Week 1.
Facing a fourth-and-17, Kent State punted. Pitt return man Konata Mumpfield fielded the kick but never got a clean grasp on it, batting it up in the air instead, leading to a truly ridiculous series of events.
Credit to Kent State's Naim Muhammad for sticking with it, eventually corralling the ball and returning what was scored as a fumble for the touchdown.
Ultimately, it didn't matter, as Pitt rolled to a 55-24 win, but the serve, set and spike at least provided a highlight for Kent State's visit to Pittsburgh that didn't involve putting french fries inside of sandwiches.
South Carolina fans probably aren't exactly excited for the meat of the SEC schedule, but a win is a win, and the Gamecocks' 23-19 escape act against Old Dominion was, in spite of all visual evidence to the contrary, a win.
Nothing went particularly well for the Gamecocks, who were breaking in new starting quarterback LaNorris Sellers. He completed just 10 of 23 passes but did have a heck of a tackle (albeit on his own teammate).
ODU actually grabbed a late 19-16 lead on a 33-yard field goal with 9:54 to play, but a Grant Wilson fumble -- one of three turnovers on the day for the Monarchs quarterback -- gave the ball back to South Carolina at the 6-yard line, and the Gamecocks scored two plays later.
South Carolina finished with just 288 yards of offense, and its two touchdown drives covered a grand total of 9 yards. More concerning for South Carolina fans, Vanderbilt beat Virginia Tech, thus putting up a "vacancy" sign outside the SEC's basement.
Like preseason rankings, the Week 1 Heisman list is more projection than reality. But also, we haven't been wrong about a projection since thinking Clemson had a real shot to win, and that was 20 hours ago. Who even remembers that?
1. Colorado WR/CB Travis Hunter
On the one hand, we did all this last year. Colorado had a fun Week 1 game, Hunter is college football's Shohei Ohtani, Coach Prime yells at anyone who isn't nice to him, rinse, repeat.
Then again, if Hunter can actually manage to stay on the field all season, it's hard to argue with the Heisman candidacy of a guy who can do things like this.
In the end, Hunter finished with seven catches for 132 yards and three touchdowns along with three tackles on defense. So, at least for now, we will not be accepting questions from anyone who argues with Hunter at No. 1.
2. Boise State RB Ashton Jeanty
Can a player outside the Power 4 actually win the Heisman? It seems unlikely, but then again, there aren't many players outside the Power 4 like Jeanty.
In a raucous 56-45 win over Georgia Southern, Jeanty carried 20 times for 267 yards and six touchdowns -- including scoring on three of his first seven carries. He's the first player to run for 250 yards and six scores in a game against an FBS foe since Pitt's Izzy Abanikanda in 2022 and just the fifth to do it in the playoff era.
All of this raises the question: Nobody at Ole Miss or Miami had a few million NIL dollars laying around for this guy?
3. Arizona WR Tetairoa McMillan
As the great Samuel L. Jackson once said: "Hold on to your butts."
Arizona is going to be the most ridiculous drama in town this season thanks in large part to McMillan, who finished Week 1 with 10 catches for 304 yards and four touchdowns, and also a defense that seemed to have no real answers to (checks notes) New Mexico!
Arizona has all the makings of being the football equivalent of the plotlines for "9-1-1." We're three weeks away from McMillan saving Noah Fifita from a bee-nado and, frankly, we can't wait.
4. Miami QB Cam Ward
Here's a quick list of elite Miami quarterbacks during the past two decades:
(Tumbleweed blows past.)
(Will Smith on the last episode of "Fresh Prince" GIF is shown.)
(Someone mentions Brad Kaaya and a crowd of angry Miami fans throw Cuban bread at them.)
Right. Point is, Ward is in uncharted territory here, and the early signs suggest he's everything Miami fans hoped he would be -- a swaggering, aggressive magician in the pocket capable of leading the Canes back to the promised land.
5. Almost every SEC quarterback
It was a good Week 1 for the SEC's quarterbacks. Carson Beck was exceptional in a throttling of Clemson. Jackson Arnold tossed four touchdown passes for Oklahoma. Nico Iamaleava threw for 314 yards and three scores. Jalen Milroe, Blake Shapen, Quinn Ewers -- all excellent. And then, in just a half of football, Jaxson Dart put up numbers (418 yards, five touchdowns) most Iowa fans would consider a solid season.
But let's put the spotlight on Vandy quarterback Diego Pavia, who threw for 190 yards, ran for 140 and accounted for three touchdowns in a stunning upset of Virginia Tech. In three starts in SEC stadiums in his career, the New Mexico State transfer has embarrassed the Hokies and Auburn and combined to account for 656 yards and six touchdowns.
It's 2024, and if we're to believe the punditry, this will be unlike anything we've seen before in college football, which is saying something in a sport that had an interim coach drive an ATV out of a locker room just nine months ago. But it's true that 2024 will feel an awful lot different than years past. It's a season without Nick Saban or Jim Harbaugh, with a 12-team playoff and $20 million rosters. Texas and Oklahoma are in the SEC, the Pac-12 is divested throughout four different leagues, each half of football now comes with a two-minute timeout, and for some reason chicken nuggets are now called "saucy nuggs."
It's all so strange and new and exhilarating and frightening, like putting USC's defense on the field nursing a six-point lead.
And yet, for all that has changed, Week 1 also reminded us of what's remained the same, what's stood strong against the headwinds of private equity and super leagues and an endless parade of players entering the transfer portal.
There was Georgia, the preeminent program in college football for the past three years by any metric, showcasing its dominance once more. Carson Beck was nearly flawless, the Dawgs' defense was impenetrable and guys who sound like they are junior partners at a prominent Atlanta law firm -- Cash Jones, London Humphreys, Lawson Luckie -- all chipped in as Kirby Smart's crew embarrassed Clemson 34-3.
On the opposite sideline was Dabo Swinney, still fighting the good fight against things like the transfer portal or the steam engine, left to again consider whether his deep-rooted belief in doing things the Clemson way can still allow his program to keep pace with schools like Georgia. It wasn't just that the Tigers struggled. Lots of teams do that against the Bulldogs. It's that Cade Klubnik missed open receivers, Adam Randall and Cole Turner made egregious mistakes, the O-line couldn't open holes for Phil Mafah, and the defense ultimately collapsed under the pressure to be perfect. In other words, it looked so much like Clemson's 2021, 2022 and 2023 seasons. Swinney has stopped taking calls at his weekly radio show, but we can only imagine Tyler from Spartanburg is busy crafting a strongly worded email expressing his discontent.
The game wasn't so much a reminder of Georgia's brilliance as it was a referendum that Clemson simply isn't in this class any longer.
Texas A&M still hopes to join the elites, but that climb is just beginning. Saturday was a reminder that, even with a new head coach and a healthy quarterback, the Aggies are a lot closer to the stumbling blocks of the Jimbo Fisher era than they are to Mike Elko's finish line. Riley Leonard and Notre Dame couldn't muster much offense against A&M, but they were consistently the more physical team, the team capable of making the big play when it had to be made -- from two critical interceptions of Conner Weigman to a game-clinching swat of a fourth-down pass in the final minutes.
Colorado may be a long way from the elite tier of college football, too, but that didn't stop the world from tuning in to see the Buffaloes on Thursday night. Quarterback Shedeur Sanders was excellent, receiver/defensive back Travis Hunter was otherworldly, and Coach Prime may have let all the air of out of the tires of several cars parked in the media lot outside Folsom Field. Regardless, Colorado still looks much like it did a year ago: an incredibly entertaining team with a handful of superstars and enough holes that almost any outcome seems possible.
At Texas, the Longhorns sizzled in a 52-0 drubbing of Colorado State, but because some things never change, the real story was the backup quarterback. Arch Manning engineered a touchdown drive in his first action of the season, completing 5 of 6 passes and accounting for two touchdowns. Sure, none of that will mean much when the Longhorns head to Michigan next week, forced to rely on the starter. (What's his name again? We want to say Quentin? We're drawing a blank.) But Week 1 felt like a continuation of the always enjoyable "will they or won't they" love affair between Texas and Manning. They really are the Jim and Pam of the SEC.
Who's a more stable force in college football than Miami tight end Cam McCormick? He's been playing for so long he can remember the last time Miami was relevant. On Saturday, he caught a touchdown pass as the Canes dismantled Florida in "embarrassing" fashion, according to Billy Napier.
And what about Michigan? The defending champs went to battle without Harbaugh or J.J. McCarthy or a host of other players who won their rings before leaving for the NFL, but the Wolverines won anyway, using their trademarked brute force to upend Fresno State 30-10. Sure, Michigan found its replacement for McCarthy when Sherrone Moore put on a jacket he hadn't worn in three years and found $20 and Davis Warren in the pocket, but isn't this exactly the formula we'd expect from the Wolverines? Same as it ever was.
Of course, not all change is bad -- no matter what Swinney says.
Look at Alabama, for example. The Tide dominated Western Kentucky 63-0, with quarterback Jalen Milroe accounting for five touchdowns and Keon Sabb picking off two passes in the Tide's first game of the post-Saban era. Imagine what this program might've accomplished these past few years if only Saban hadn't been holding it back.
Or consider Ole Miss, where Lane Kiffin has embraced the transfer portal as much as anyone and, after Saturday's 76-0 win over Furman, seems to have embraced a buffet of rat poison, too. Good luck convincing an offense that hung 52 in the first half that it's not elite.
And if any team is a harbinger of this new era of college football, it's Ohio State -- a program that spent the gross domestic product of a small island nation to secure a championship roster. If Week 1 proved anything, it's that paying your players more than Akron's entire football budget is an effective plan to beat Akron. Michigan may be another story, but that's a question for November.
Even Iowa, the most stalwart of all programs, showed us something new in Week 1.
For a half, it was the old Iowa -- slow, plodding, punt-forward. And in the next half, it scored in droves (which, in Iowa parlance, means more than once).
Perhaps that's the lesson here -- for Week 1, for 2024, for college football. Change is not good or bad, but it is inevitable.
Clemson will eventually take a meaningful player from the portal, even if it means replacing Swinney with a lookalike in some sort of a "Manchurian Candidate" type of situation.
Georgia will eventually be surpassed by another program, though probably not anytime soon.
Texas A&M will eventually win a big game. Probably. Maybe.
The fun of settling in for a new season, however, comes from just the right mix of seeing so many old friends creating the same magic they always have and still being surprised by another year of chaos and ridiculousness that inevitably surfaces over the course of three months in the fall.
The Fed is widely expected to lower interest rates at its September meeting, and for Florida coach Billy Napier, the decision comes not a moment too soon, as he was left with little left to do by the fourth quarter of Saturday's 41-17 blowout loss to Miami than scroll through Zillow in search of his next place to live.
It's not as if optimism was rampant in Gainesville before Week 1. The schedule is brutal, and coming off back-to-back sub-.500 campaigns, simply getting to a bowl felt like success. After watching Cam Ward chuck the ball all over the field, however, even those mediocre aspirations feel so out of reach that fans were left sipping on warm High Noon and staring into the vast middle distance.
Technically, Florida played Tom Petty to open the fourth quarter, but most fans were thoughtlessly humming "Hello darkness, my old friend."
Ward was electric for Miami, throwing for 385 yards and three touchdowns, while Damien Martinez, Tyler Baron and a host of other portal additions carried the Canes to an easy win.
At Miami, there is real hope the Hurricanes can make the playoff, and all it took was enough NIL to bankrupt LifeWallet and possibly some sort of "Eternam Sunshine" treatment to erase memories of the past 20 years.
For Florida, however, the stark reality of another lost season feels like a near certainty at this point. The highlight for the Gators may have been when freshman QB DJ Lagway entered the game in the fourth quarter, a flicker of hope for a distant future. But even Lagway's day ended with an interception, making it clear there were no saviors in Gainesville in Week 1.
What comes next?
Perhaps the reality is that Miami is just really good -- so good that the Gators' remaining slate won't be nearly so challenging as Week 1 proved to be. Or, more likely, Napier should be hoping for some nice hors d'oeuvres at the next showings for that four bedroom/three bath Dutch Colonial.
In 2023, Penn State's offense was often frustratingly conservative and occasionally prescribed by local doctors as a substitute for Ambien, so this offseason, James Franklin brought in new coordinator Andy Kotelnicki with the expressed job of adding some explosiveness.
Through one week, mission accomplished.
Penn State torched West Virginia 34-12 behind a stellar game by quarterback Drew Allar, who threw for 216 yards and three touchdowns -- two of which came on deep balls, something notably absent from last season's repertoire.
Harrison Wallace was the primary recipient of the new approach, catching five balls for 117 yards and two scores -- just the second Penn State receiver with 100 yards and two scores in the same game since the 2021 campaign.
But fear not, Western Pennsylvania insomniacs. Penn State may not lull you into a slumber anymore, but Steelers season starts soon.
Five-star recruit Dylan Raiola made his debut for Nebraska, completing 19 of 28 passes for 238 yards and two touchdowns in a 40-7 win over UTEP, making him the first Cornhuskers quarterback since 2017 to go an entire game without slipping on a banana peel, splitting his pants and falling face first into a bowl of soup.
It's a sterling debut for Raiola, the No. 11 overall recruit according to ESPN in this year's class, who connected with Isaiah Neyor six times for 121 yards and a touchdown in the game, and it's reason for optimism the Huskers may finally have a true offensive foundation after nearly a decade lost in the wilderness.
The win marked Nebraska's first victorious opener since 2019, and it offers significant hope to the fan base that by simply reburying the bones Bo Pelini dug up from that sacred ancient burial ground, the curse may be lifted.
Still, this was only UTEP, and Nebraska led by 23 at the half, so it wasn't a true test. Only when the Huskers face a more formidable opponent and are within a score in the fourth quarter will we know if things really are different.
Each week in college football, there are subtle shifts in the power structure of the sport that aren't always obvious from the final scores. These are less about wins and losses and more about vibes. But fear not. We're here to capture the finer points to shine a spotlight on the burgeoning trends around the game.
Trending up: Nepotism rules
For 30 minutes, it looked like business as usual for Iowa, which managed just six points by halftime against FCS Illinois State. Those six points came on drives of 6 yards and 49 yards. The Hawkeyes punted four times. Somewhere, Brian Ferentz was toasting Melissa Rivers, Bronny James and Jaden Smith with a nice glass of Frank Perignon.
But the new-look Hawkeyes finally got the offense figured out in the second half, and suddenly the fine folks in Iowa learned what a forward pass looked like.
The end result: Iowa 40, Illinois State 0. Cade McNamara became the first Iowa quarterback to throw for 250 yards, three touchdowns and no picks in a game since 2021 (and just the third of the playoff era), and the punter didn't even need an ice bath after the game.
Trending down: QR codes
Oklahoma State planned to have QR codes on players' helmets to help promote NIL opportunities, but the NCAA, sensing a rare opportunity to feed its eternal quest to keep money from athletes, stepped in at the last minute to quash the plan.
While it's true, the NCAA's decisions are often based on a deep-rooted desire to ruin Christmas from its lair atop a mountain overlooking Whoville, we actually applaud this move as a long overdue blow against the scourge of QR codes.
Now, if only the NCAA could also force restaurants to go back to handing every customer a hard copy of the menu, there'd be some real progress on the issue.
Unfortunately, Alan Bowman (three touchdown passes), Ollie Gordon (146 total yards, three touchdowns) and Trey Rucker (15 tackles) missed out on some potential earnings after starring in a 44-20 win over South Dakota State. On the upside, Eskimo Joe's game-day menu is quite reasonably priced.
Trending up: Celebrating with Beers
It's Week 1, and it wouldn't be the same without Beers. Indeed, there's nothing like finding one open, then celebrating with the boys. It's cool, refreshing, delightful.
Yes, Florida International tight end Rocky Beers scored on a 7-yard pass from Keyone Jenkins just before the half against Indiana, leading to a nice end zone gathering with his teammates.
Why, what did you think we were talking about?
Trending up: Teammate chivalry
Kudos to Utah quarterback Cam Rising, who came to the rescue with a proper bunny ears double knot when receiver Dorian Singer's shoe came untied midgame.
It was just part of a spectacular day for Rising, who in addition to teaching his teammate how to tie his shoes also threw five touchdown passes on just 15 attempts and traded half his PB&J sandwich from his lunch box for a string cheese and a vanilla pudding. Word is, Rising is also an early favorite to take home the class guinea pig next weekend.
Trending down: Mascot chivalry
Mr. and Mrs. Wuf took a ride in the Wuf-mobile before NC State kicked off against Western Carolina on Thursday, but the lady of the den couldn't quite manage the dismount.
While Mrs. Wuf landed flat on her face -- or snout? -- Mr. Wuf offered no assistance. It's sad when all the romance goes out of a marriage. We'd wager Mr. Wuf doesn't even close the bathroom door anymore.
Fortunately for the Wolfpack, the pregame face-plant didn't keep the team from eeking out a too-close-for-comfort 38-21 win thanks in large part to a brilliant performance from KC Concepcion, who finished with nine catches for 131 yards and three touchdowns.
Trending up: Power tools
Northern Arizona felled trees and Lincoln (California) on Saturday, winning its opener with ease and using a chainsaw in the end zone to slice off a nice piece of wood.
This is an exceptional use of sideline power tools. Unlike the construction site in Vanderbilt's end zone, there were actual hard hats and safety goggles involved here. And we can't help but wonder if Oregon State had just gone the extra mile with its turnover chainsaw, the Pac-12 might've survived.
Trending up: Lakeside Airbnbs
Sure, it wasn't exactly an emphatic win for Northwestern in Week 1, with the Wildcats narrowly escaping Miami (Ohio), 13-6. But if the offense was nothing to look at, the views around Northwestern's makeshift stadium were spectacular.
Saturday's win was Northwestern's 14th of the playoff era when scoring 21 points or less. Only Iowa has more among Power 5 teams. The only problem is head coach David Braun is responsible for washing all linens, taking out the trash and recycling, and emptying the fridge before checkout time, which is 8 a.m. sharp.
Trending down: Sign stealing
Connor Stalions coached his first game as the defensive coordinator at Detroit's Mumford High this week, and the defense could've used some better advanced scouting.
Stalions' squad lost 47-6, an embarrassment for the former Michigan staffer accused of sign stealing. On the upside, he already had the perfect disguise so no one would notice him in the parking lot after the game.
Meanwhile, Oklahoma State coach Mike Gundy suggested he might have a job waiting in his IT department should Stalions be in the market.
It's a tempting offer. After all, a fake mullet would go really nicely with the fake goatee.
Usually you need to go to Nebraska to find a good volleyball match inside a football stadium, but Pitt and Kent State gave us a taste in Week 1.
Facing a fourth-and-17, Kent State punted. Pitt return man Konata Mumpfield fielded the kick but never got a clean grasp on it, batting it up in the air instead, leading to a truly ridiculous series of events.
Credit to Kent State's Naim Muhammad for sticking with it, eventually corralling the ball and returning what was scored as a fumble for the touchdown.
Ultimately, it didn't matter, as Pitt rolled to a 55-24 win, but the serve, set and spike at least provided a highlight for Kent State's visit to Pittsburgh that didn't involve putting french fries inside of sandwiches.
South Carolina fans probably aren't exactly excited for the meat of the SEC schedule, but a win is a win, and the Gamecocks' 23-19 escape act against Old Dominion was, in spite of all visual evidence to the contrary, a win.
Nothing went particularly well for the Gamecocks, who were breaking in new starting quarterback LaNorris Sellers. He completed just 10 of 23 passes but did have a heck of a tackle (albeit on his own teammate).
ODU actually grabbed a late 19-16 lead on a 33-yard field goal with 9:54 to play, but a Grant Wilson fumble -- one of three turnovers on the day for the Monarchs quarterback -- gave the ball back to South Carolina at the 6-yard line, and the Gamecocks scored two plays later.
South Carolina finished with just 288 yards of offense, and its two touchdown drives covered a grand total of 9 yards. More concerning for South Carolina fans, Vanderbilt beat Virginia Tech, thus putting up a "vacancy" sign outside the SEC's basement.
Like preseason rankings, the Week 1 Heisman list is more projection than reality. But also, we haven't been wrong about a projection since thinking Clemson had a real shot to win, and that was 20 hours ago. Who even remembers that?
1. Colorado WR/CB Travis Hunter
On the one hand, we did all this last year. Colorado had a fun Week 1 game, Hunter is college football's Shohei Ohtani, Coach Prime yells at anyone who isn't nice to him, rinse, repeat.
Then again, if Hunter can actually manage to stay on the field all season, it's hard to argue with the Heisman candidacy of a guy who can do things like this.
In the end, Hunter finished with seven catches for 132 yards and three touchdowns along with three tackles on defense. So, at least for now, we will not be accepting questions from anyone who argues with Hunter at No. 1.
2. Boise State RB Ashton Jeanty
Can a player outside the Power 4 actually win the Heisman? It seems unlikely, but then again, there aren't many players outside the Power 4 like Jeanty.
In a raucous 56-45 win over Georgia Southern, Jeanty carried 20 times for 267 yards and six touchdowns -- including scoring on three of his first seven carries. He's the first player to run for 250 yards and six scores in a game against an FBS foe since Pitt's Izzy Abanikanda in 2022 and just the fifth to do it in the playoff era.
All of this raises the question: Nobody at Ole Miss or Miami had a few million NIL dollars laying around for this guy?
3. Arizona WR Tetairoa McMillan
As the great Samuel L. Jackson once said: "Hold on to your butts."
Arizona is going to be the most ridiculous drama in town this season thanks in large part to McMillan, who finished Week 1 with 10 catches for 304 yards and four touchdowns, and also a defense that seemed to have no real answers to (checks notes) New Mexico!
Arizona has all the makings of being the football equivalent of the plotlines for "9-1-1." We're three weeks away from McMillan saving Noah Fifita from a bee-nado and, frankly, we can't wait.
4. Miami QB Cam Ward
Here's a quick list of elite Miami quarterbacks during the past two decades:
(Tumbleweed blows past.)
(Will Smith on the last episode of "Fresh Prince" GIF is shown.)
(Someone mentions Brad Kaaya and a crowd of angry Miami fans throw Cuban bread at them.)
Right. Point is, Ward is in uncharted territory here, and the early signs suggest he's everything Miami fans hoped he would be -- a swaggering, aggressive magician in the pocket capable of leading the Canes back to the promised land.
5. Almost every SEC quarterback
It was a good Week 1 for the SEC's quarterbacks. Carson Beck was exceptional in a throttling of Clemson. Jackson Arnold tossed four touchdown passes for Oklahoma. Nico Iamaleava threw for 314 yards and three scores. Jalen Milroe, Blake Shapen, Quinn Ewers -- all excellent. And then, in just a half of football, Jaxson Dart put up numbers (418 yards, five touchdowns) most Iowa fans would consider a solid season.
But let's put the spotlight on Vandy quarterback Diego Pavia, who threw for 190 yards, ran for 140 and accounted for three touchdowns in a stunning upset of Virginia Tech. In three starts in SEC stadiums in his career, the New Mexico State transfer has embarrassed the Hokies and Auburn and combined to account for 656 yards and six touchdowns.
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